Isaiah 1

Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth!
For the Lord has spoken:
“I have nourished and brought up children,
And they have rebelled against Me;
The ox knows its owner
And the donkey its master’s crib;
But Israel does not know,
My people do not consider.”

Alas, sinful nation,
A people laden with iniquity,
A brood of evildoers,
Children who are corrupters!
They have forsaken the Lord,
They have provoked to anger
The Holy One of Israel,
They have turned away backward. (Isaiah 1:2-4 NKJV)

Ya know when I read this at first I thought – its talking about this world. But its not. Its talking about us. No. Me.

You know heres a little about me – if you’ve searched this blog you know I have bipolar disorder and that I have kids and a hard marriage. But heres the thing. that is only part of me.

First? I don’t have a hard marriage. I was too sick to realize that. But? I do have Bipolar NOS. What is that? Well, think of it like a teenager…..well actually 10 teens mixed into one person who has MAJOR rage issues. That just about the tip of the iceberg.

When I gave birth to my daughter, I developed postpartum psychosis. It went undiagnosed, or really misdiagnosed for years. This of course led me to be diagnosed as bipolar. When I was first diagnosed, I went to get help everywhere but the Lord.

I looked to everyone for wisdom, but it didn’t help. Then after several years, I started to look toward the Lord. Thats just about the time I started this blog. Then I just stopped writing. Don’t know why other than – I allowed myself to get distracted with other things.

I started getting healthy. Lost 85lbs and then? I got sick. Everything I ate seemed to make me sick (and I mean so sick). I started having back problems. I swear everything was falling apart on me. Then I read this.

When you spread out your hands,
I will hide My eyes from you;
Even though you make many prayers,
I will not hear.
Your hands are full of blood. (Isaiah 1:15 NKJV)

I was reading my bible but barely. I was praising Jesus w my lips but I was barely going through the motions.

Yes, I know I talked about this yesterday – but my bible study, its what God is speaking yo.

God has opened my eyes and I feel such a great peace. Knowing that God was reaching to me and I’ve finally answered. No, I don’t expect things to get miraculously better – but I feel better. I’m finally in the place I need to be.

If you are willing and obedient,
You shall eat the good of the land;
20 But if you refuse and rebel,
You shall be devoured by the sword”;
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken. (Isaiah 19-20 NKJV)

 

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